Take that, impostor syndrome

My impostor syndrome has sustained some serious blows over the last few weeks. 

A fella with an almost unbearably lovely energy wrote a sweet little guitar song for me, thanking me for being a calming presence at a burn.

My dear friend Kat informed me that Ouija Board, an absolute bop of a song, was about the long-distance friendship we share.

I received the following review, which actually made me cry a little:

“Firebug follows Olivia, Azrael, and his younger brother Elijah, three mortals caught in a divine contest between Arachne and Hades. Bound by fate and shadowed by a deranged cult, they become entangled in a web of love, betrayal, and divine manipulation. Part romance and part horror, it is a story that never allows for stagnation; each moment of calm shatters into something stranger, darker, yet always irresistibly engaging.

At its core, Firebug is a story that moves. The pacing is crisp and deliberate, carrying the reader through each beat with the same sense of inevitability that Olivia, Azrael, and Elijah must feel. Patterson’s command of momentum is impressive: every scene feels essential, nothing overstays its welcome, and the result is a narrative that remains fast-moving while easy to follow.

There is a cinematic clarity to the storytelling. One moment that stands out is Azrael’s rescue of Olivia from a burning house, never mind that he is the one who started the fire. The scene expertly cuts between characters with conflicting desires, flames flickering in the background, each image playing vividly in the mind’s eye.

While not a horror novel in the traditional sense, Firebug carries the same unsettling undercurrent found in Stephen King’s more humanist stories, where horror arises not from monsters but from how ordinary people behave under desperation.

Firebug is a rare kind of genre novel, driven by plot yet rich with character, cinematic in scope yet intensely human. Readers drawn to modern, character-centred horror and thrillers will find much to enjoy here, especially those who favor the eerier sensibilities of Neon and A24 films.

Not only entertaining, Firebug provokes reflection. Behind the divine games and human schemes runs a familiar current, the chaos of conviction. Specifically, the way belief hardens into certainty, and certainty into conflict. Firebug captures our modern unease with clarity and compassion, making it a standout read for anyone who craves smart, fast-moving fiction with something honest burning beneath its surface.”

- Jack C, DeRazzled Podcast

So many friends, new and old, have sent words of support regarding me being in the final stretch of getting my novel out there.

The impostor syndrome is still very real—thriving in the quiet moments, bubbling up from the depths of my subconscious—but I’m starting to learn to exist alongside it. To be full of anxiety, exhaustion, doubt, and uncertainty, and do the thing anyway. 

I’ve gotten the test print of Firebug, and I’m going through an actually-final-this-time sweep to ensure everything flows and there are no typos. I’ve read these words so many times at this point I could probably recite a lot of the book by heart. I’m too close to it to know if it’s any good, but I can definitively say I’ve put my heart and soul into making it the best I can.

In a little under 4 weeks, Firebug will be officially released. I’m throwing a Book Launch Party to celebrate (please RSVP if you’d like to come!) and I can’t wait to sign some paperbacks, collapse into a theater seat, and watch whatever movie it is I decide to screen with y’all. 

This time last year, my life felt gray. I was going through the motions of life without really feeling like I was living. This year, I’ve experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows I’ve ever felt. I’ve had multiple existential crises over the course of a single day. I’ve cried tears of happiness and anguish. Whatever else is happening, I’m living life at full volume. And even in the moments where everything hurts, it’s better than the gray. It’s harder in some ways than just coasting through my own life, but it’s inarguably better.

Thanks y’all. Almost there. 🔥